sleeping with the past

i sat waiting in that broad room
nursing the child that i thought was mine
while you are roaming around the streets
entataining other man outside

i gave you my soul and love but was not enough
i could have reached the sky and get you the moon
why all this time you did not tell me i was not the father
why toucher me with hurtfull words

everytime you come calling me a useless fool
but night and day i could sleep raising the child
all this time i was raising it for another man
how could you brake me this way

i had to find out by an email that the child was not mine
you could have thought i was going to die
but the last laugh will be mine
i am flashing this child down the drane

you will feel like a knife cut you into two
the tears that fall from my eyes will rip something
if i raised her know one is going to have her
even you and the father child bye bye . . . . .

Poetry play that turned into tears

nice body
lovely lips
look at those curves
what about what is inside?

people are being raped, killed
our daughters are being taken in front of us
and when we see the news we saw how could they?
what do we do?

society has failed our people
we sit with our plasma and get glued to the screen
what about those innocence children?
that who;s freedom has been

taken away from them?

how do we call ourself fathers when we sleep with our own daughters?
how can you say i am a mother but you are sleeping around with boys
your last born age?
how can i say i am a free generation when i sleep with somebody the same age as my grandmother?
how can we say we are a community when we can handle our own children?

are we lost as a generation?
is the hope for us a human race?
how do i feel as a grown man we are go clubbing when my son is?
 am i a father when i date children my daughter age?
do i smile when i call myself ben 10?

how will i feel when a man my age is dating my daughters?
will i find peace in this world if i encourage abortion?
will i love when i have devasted the nation with kids?
this justice system has failed our people


written by oscar stuta
inspired by Pacofs play called (poetry cries)

please call "its over"

you had the audacity to drop this bomb
with no words exchanged
you fell i was the one who deserved to be blamed
you had to run away from a show down

after  i gave you keys to my kingdom
you enjoyed it to the fullest
then you spit it out like a chewed gum
after the tasty flavor satisfied you

like a  small child you hide behind ancient mistakes that took placer
you could act like a mature person i thought you were
you craved for the riches of my world that i could gie you on a silver platter
so the media could offer solution/

what happen to communication?
where did the loved we had for each other go too?
where is the choice to expressing our feelings gone where?
instead please call its "over"

if my heart problem could kill me
those words set me free from bounded chains
although we hurt each other in a long time
imagine what you wanted from me i could have given you
your heart is still beating i could be yours
all though the world wanted to share me with you
i denied tgem that opportunity

Troubled conscience

cant smoke cant cry cant drink
every night is pain and empty room

missed you crying at night and comforting you
tears have dried out from my eyes

one stupid night turned to ambush
the blade that cut you pirced me inside
the night that you run away from me
has turned me into a pscho

eloping with some i thought it was you
has left a barren in my soul
i drunk my sorrow away but my mind is not at peace
i pretend to be fine but something is broken

they came and go but my mind is on that fatal night
the food taste like sand in my mouth
my thoughts are all in dispair
nothing can change the past
the future looks in vain

my eyes are filled with blood
my shadow fills like a stalker
who to call?
who to talk? to for i am troubled
by my conscience

Borrowed Time

life is like a changing weather
unpredictable as it is
apologize for keep waiting for decades
sorry for not caring for your needs

i was so lame and could expect you will go someday
it was like a lie when they broke the news
i wipe out the tears from my cheek
i pretended to be the one for you

it begun as a playing thing but did not know it could hurt like this
that not loving and carring for you could torment me
i was a fool to play you like that
now that you gone i feel the emptyness in my life

now that you are lying in the waiting room for the next life
i see the void that  is left in me
how i wish the clock can turn back again
how i wish our song "crusin" was meant for it

life is a borrowed opportunity dont waste it on dreams
used it for benefitting out of it
is an experience that wait for no one
love and cherish each other while there is still time

Desired

that life was like a tv game if you died you start again
that woman and man were not complicated
that we learn and take responsibilities
stop being childish and decide what we want

you cannot say we are friends but deep down you want me
you let a knife cut you down night and day
after years looking for my things i see a letter written
you can be miles away hopeful you will end up on my door step

i stare at your eyes seeing the flame of love still burns
i could see that you were in love with me always regarded you as a friend
we man are blind if you say we are friends thats all we are
but woman are confused why decide to be my friend in the long run
you are expecting a fantasy that happens in your imagination

lets stop hiding behind friendship and express our feelings
we can kill fear if were are true to ourself
lets desire something worth living rather than dying
lets kiss life we hope and joy
let us enjoy the harmony of love

Dear companions

Too all those i never had time for you
i am sorry  life was hard for me
Too all those i was never there for you
i apologize for being selfish and alone
Too all those i never showed sympathy
i am sorry for thinking life was a missed ride

too all those i never came by to comfort you
my life was not too important for me not to give a call to you
too all those i was  too busy to give you a call and see how you were doing
i am sorry for my childish act revenge made me lose the way
too all those i never showed gratitude
i apologize for my stress had reach an epedimic level i could see clearly

too all those i never truely told you who i was?
i am sorry for being more important than you
too all those i never gave you a chance?
i apologize for being political minded
too all those i never said sorry
i am deeply ashamed for thinking less of you

too all those i never showed my true feelings to you
i give a deep condolosence for being too sh and afraid
too those i almost broke you heart
sorry for that i never went through and did it
too all those accused me of being a cheater
i apologize for not reall cheating on you that the regret i have
too all those i never greeted when i walk pass by you
sorry for you part you should have minded you own problems

Stop the Blaming

you can keep staring at the windows
if we stop depending on people
we can be free to spread our wings
take a chance on change
will never forget those who we love

nothing is for ever and some point it will end
even on mariages it said until death do us apart
it is and eternal thing or process that will end
stop blaming how could he/she brake my heart?
after all the love and effort i put in this relationship

if you did not who was suppose to do it for you?
the problems lies within us love,laughter and sorrows
if we take responsibility of things that happen will be free
braking the bondage of blaming and being free
i love you like no other if you get tired of me and dump me
why will i kill myself for someone i found in this world

remember we are came alone in this world will leave the same way we come
if you can kill yourelf for another you were living in your fantasy world
it is time we stood and face reality and have realistic expectation
how can she do this to me?
we are all imperfect humans if you had realistic expectation and talked abou it.
you could have never sulked on it and blame others.

stop bringing house hold problems to work or take out on inoccent lookers.
take a leap of faith and brake away
new begins have less expectation
take a risk and try and find love it will bring its self to you
be you and live younger stress free
because the is so much pain that time cant erase

Stop the Blaming

can keep staring at the windows
if we stop depending on people
we can be free to spread our wings
take a chance on change
will never forget those who we love

nothing is for ever and some point it will end
even on maariages it said untill death do us apart
it is and eternal thing or process that will end
stop blaming how could he/she brake my heart?
after all the love and effort i put in this relationship

if you did not who was suppose to do it for you?
the problems lies within us love,laughter and sorrows
if we take responsibility of things that happen will be free
braking the bondage of blaming and being free
i love you like no other if you get tired of me and dump me
why will i kill myself for someone i found in this world

remember we are came alone in this world will leave the same way we come
if you can kill yourelf for another you were living in your fantasy world
it is time we stood and face reality and have realistic expectation
how can she do this to me?
we are all imperfect humans if you had realistic expectation and talked abou it.
you could have never sulked on it and blame others.

stop bringing house hold problems to work or take out on inoccent lookers.
take a leap of faith and brake away
new begins have less expectation
take a risk and try and find love it will bring its self to you
be you and live younger stress free
because the is so much pain that time cant erase

Dumped

The sorrow that clause out of the wardroobe
The naked cat came out of the closet
misery that follows you like sickness
you came by like an innocent new born

The price that you cold have avoided
was just telling the trueth
you could blink an eye when comfronted with the ordeal
my trust to you got tarnished when you lied to me

cheating and lying claiming your love was just your cousin
how had the nerve to have a cousin after i took you as an orphan
where was your cousin all along?
where was here while you were lying in a ICU?
where all of a sudden he comes when i am at work?

you betrayal was worse than being stabbed with a knife
calling your lover a cousin?
now that there is only you and me is better for me
to untie these chains around my neck
to let you go for the shame you caused me

you are unworthy cheating me with you lover(cousin)
taking me for granted letting me to believe i was the problem
but all along you were living an immoral life
enjoying the fruit of sin and slavery
putting your lust a head of you men
it is overy i am sorrow for the time i wasted on you

Man fear

I wanted you to hear all the unsaid words
What happened to our perfect?
our hearts bleed of fear
we are scare to left alone
As the loneliness inside is killing us

bulling gives comfort
beating woman make us feel secure?
but loving is like sickness
once we have and lose we complete become insane
jealous is the instrument playing on our mind

our palms never got to read the full story
we are left wondering if we would ever
admit that we are weak
that the story been told will ever have a final chapter
Cheating is a record that keeps playing in our thoughts

we are scared and afraid of our inner thought
if we are given a chance we love externally and internally
betrayal to us becomes a sign to kill
the thought of being alone scares us as we know how it is
no memories to store upon them or generation to appear

Memories

anguish and pain play my mind
i try to hide there no escape
i wonder from continent to continent
there no one to help me

i go to the doctors there is no remedy
what is happening to me?
am i gong insane or dying
it is too much to bear

regrets are everywhere in my face
pills are undrinkable anymore
the honey i used to enjoy has turn sour
the music is playing but there are no lyrics

the movie is on by the sound is dead
i sleep at night but my eyes are open
i fall in love but the hart has stop beating
i burn myself on fire only the skin is peeling

help in not what is needed
my mind is shifting to insanity
memories brought me sorrows
but there are stuck in the mist of my mind

We Need To talk

we have been eyeing each other for months
chance presented its self
Thought you mine
I look in your eyes
your gaze never went down

when it was time to talk
you blaze with anger asking me why talk private?
This was not a public matter
if you came to the side
you could have felt my heart beat

i had your number but could call you
you will want me one day
you will need me and i will not be there
This feelings are no dying anytime soon
they grow each day like a flammable flame

can you recognize its the hunger only you can fill
how can i do when i dream of you every night
I like to have you all the time
kissing your lips and holding you are a breath away
why would you if a held your hand and sat you down
and recite a poem for you

what if a song i sang for you could make a difference
why i feel the is too much pressure on me
i tried killing this emotional feelings every time
can you recognize that only you can sat me free
I will like to call you one day
you will need me to save you sometime

I CRY

I cry because of the memories we had
i cry because i missed you sleeping beside me
i cry at night because fear sneak at me daily
you not beside me to tell me its okay only a dream

I cry as i hide myself in public because i am ashamed
i cry because i let you sleep away because of my insecurities
i cry because my friend lied to me about you
i cry because i did not listen to my heart

My arrogance let me alone in this cold house
I cry because i did not appreciate you
i cry because someone else took my lucky charm from me
i cry as i see you passing by the road shinning there outside my house

I cry that i love you but could express it
i cry as i cold had said i love million time to show your worth
I cry as you were a unique human being who understood me
i cry as i am hopeless and jealous of not having you

Men not made of stones

We like acting tough because society taught us that way
we do cry when we are in pain
not that we cant but it is our fake appearance
when we lose our loved ones we hide our tears
we can share our pain with our mate

Because we do that we our male friends
it is natural to do that
we are not made of stones
we cannot live alone even though we pretend we can

we are afraid of loving people too much
thinking it will show our weakness
we scare of showing emotions even if it is killing us inside
we like blaming females because of fear of losing them
even though we dont always say we love you

but our action proved those beyond
know that we are not made of stones we cant
live with out you our beautiful companions
we cry inside but hide our face
we have emotions but we kill them with guilt